Sunday, November 16, 2014

Selfish Relationship



I wanted to share a little bit with you about the signs you might be in the wrong relationship specifically, a selfish one. It's hard to see one's selfishness and those habits can be contagious that it can effects everyone around you. Hopefully, my experience will help you.


This was my second relationship out of high school, and it was a long distance relationship. I came in trying to find someone, who was willing to make things work and be successful. Being open-minded and understanding was the only ways I knew best in treating others, as they would like/want to be treated. He's an Aries, ambitious but of course had a bit of an ego, serious yet child-ish, and he would act like an over bearing father when work wasn't done. Just to let you know I have had a lot Aries in my life or I guess in and out of my life one being a father figure, old and current friends, and people I work with.


Lies

He lied to me about his age. He told me he was “23” but I come to find out that he is actually 26 and when I bluntly confronted him about it he says, "Age ain't anything but a number." Anyways, as I got to know him I come to find out that he did not want children because he did not want be like his other family members, they are expensive, and they are “bratty,” in his words “don’t want.”  He was unemployed at the time and was still going school, but he yet to get a drivers licenses, but I finally push him to get one, but I'm not taking any credits for that. He dated countless girls online and nearby and “Always wanted to check up on them.” If there is anything that I have learned about relationships is leave your baggage at the front door. 

With my first relationship had a cold ending, he texted me a few months later asking "How I was doing?"  And I told him “Why are you texting me?” because he seemed to never respond to me when I was dating him. It's like you can't properly move on then why pass your guilt onto your next girlfriend. 

Side Story: Wow just remembered this, I know this is kind of late but...So, he is mixed (white/Hispanic), he would say I would look better doing a character (cosplay) that was darker skin tone when I would asked him for suggestions to do a character. I would be like is because she's dark and has big boobs like me because that freaking stupidest thing I've ever heard. And that's why he's my ex.


Respect and Time

When  my boyfriend finally got a job, he put his work and school before me, now I understood that these thing are important but this can really can effect a relationship.  When I was tired of driving hour(s) to see him every two weeks even chauffeuring him to school or work or to go out to eat. I wanted to point out what needed to resolved in order for us to make the relationship work, then he became more manipulative, on top of that  he started calling me "demanding" and blaming me for using” I know” all time, which my way of saying "I got it" or had some generalize knowledge about it. (Wondering, which is better, saying “ I know” or saying “I did this and that…?")

Anyways, he went on a trip to Japan in December, he came back broke with a just a charm from a shrine that my only gift, and Card Captor stuff for his supposed friends and a chibi Cirno figure from attending Winter Comiket. He wanted me to buy him $500 DJ Tractor after I had bought him some stuff for his trip to Japan, so he could stay warm as gift he desperately needed. Moreover, before this he bought a 3DS and played everywhere we went. (FYI: he bought the DJ Tractor himself a few months later.)

Therefore, I started to act as he was treating me not caring, doing my own thing, throwing back his self-entitled needs, and not contacting him.  His family members say his stubborn since he was child and that is just way he is. He and his brother would always find a ways to get on each other nerves and of course when I tried to help resolve their issues logically there was no hope of course.

Let it Go

When I was done, I told him multiples times over the phone, in person that wanted to end this relationship, and every time he did not want to hear it. I even started balling in tears.  He told me he did not really understand people especially, the physical and biological workings of a women, he thought modern medicine is cure for everything. I felt like I was drowning. I had become depressed like I was just ball on the chain and this is when I was taking birth control, which was weird side effects I got from the  drug but I guess it was telling me something "To get out of the relationship" and I tired. However, I did not want this relationship to turn ugly because it was already a little sour/. (I Urge you not leave anything over your boy/girl's house.) The thing is he did not have much empathy or humility for others. 

But he did make efforts and I was supportive when he did, and he did give me gifts but only if was my birthday or something he found while cleaning the house that was relationship related but most likely unfinished/broken. I forgot he to add this: he did give me unexpectedly Windows 8 after my computer was built with his help which was only useful thing to me.  But I'm glad  that I'm out this relationship. I had really bad anxiety to a point that couldn't enjoy being with people or in crowds to the point that wanted to throw up and or became more fatigue, but when I went to see Perfume I didn't get any of that Thank God. 

Don't waste your time on this type of relationship because you'll end getting hurt. 

People say "love yourself" but do everything else in moderation.


GL

 ~Seeya 

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